What the books don’t say…

I have been a mum of three for just over two months now… its going well, we are all still alive! After a mum lunch today and a conversation about baby books it got me a’thinking, when I was first pregnant 6 years ago (OMG!) I don’t think there was as big a focus on baby books and mum blogs as there is now, I feel like now you are completely bombarded with information and ‘insta’ pics on impending motherhood and the few weeks post baby exit. So when I was preggo I read/scanned the obligatory ‘What to Expect When Your Expecting’ although felt that naivety was my friend going into labour! I can’t help however thinking that in hindsight and three babies later they missed a few things out…

Pre Baby
You know, when your excited, tired and scared all at the same time. The clothes are neatly folded in the drawers with the baby soap to make them smell all baby. The nappies and wipes have a neat box to be stored in and the nappy bin is ready and lined.

The Pillow
In all baby books past and present I’m sure they will mention the pillow, in later pregnancy this pillow is a godsend and will help
your ever growing body get comfortable enough to get some sleep (that is until you need to wee for the 3
rd time that night) and they really are useful. What they don’t mention in the baby book is that this said pillow will become your best friend, your lover, your safety crutch, it will replace your husband and once that baby comes out you will not want to let it go. It will become a sore point between you and your partner and he will wonder ‘why’ ‘oh why’ ‘is that bloody pillow between us still’ So be warned you may gave a little human but you will mourn the best pillow you have ever had…until the next time!!!

Post Baby
You know, when your excited, tired and scared all at the same time. You’re not sure what time, let alone day it is, every person on your street has seen, your boobs, your belly and nothing but your PJ’s for at least a month. The baby clothes are all over the house as you never imagined that someone so small could produce so much washing, the soap has bloody disappeared (probably eaten by the toddler) you will never be able to find wipes when you need them and you have a nappy pile in at least three locations around the house.

1.       The Rouge Smell
Your sense of smell goes into overdrive and everytime you leave the house you will be able to smell some sort of bloodily fluid – sick on the shoulder is a winner!

2.       The Ungrateful Baby
You will spend money on classes to take said newborn to, they will sleep or cry their way through a whole session and you will feel exhausted due to all the ‘im ok, im so sorry, he’s usually really good’ smiles you will dish out. FYI no one is bothered as much as you – most other mums are just so pleased it’s not them this time!

3.       The Opinions
Everyone will have an opinion, people will ask, How are you feeding? Are they sleeping? How much do they weigh? Are they good? Don’t worry this will subside – no one asks me how I feed my 6 year old anymore?! Just smile and nod.

4.       When you Breastfeed you don’t have periods
THIS IS A LIE… ok so I could have googled it, assumptions can leave you disappointed.

5.       The Lazy’s
You will find an all new love and appreciation for lazy clothes, the elasticated waistband of dreams. These will be on as soon as you know you’re not leaving the house again that day… 10am? 5pm?

6.       Bath Toys
Ok so this comes a little later but they don’t not prepare you for the level of unnecessary hatred you will feel towards the bath toys… the manky old water, the slimy figures and the fact that you too will bathe with Peppa Pigs boat.

7.       Bedtime Avoidance
This may include but not be limited to, I’m thirsty, I need a drink, I need a wee, I’m scared of the dark, my teddy is sad, I had a bad dream (not actually been to sleep) my legs are dead, my arms are dead, my belly hurts, I need a poo, teddy needs a poo, I’m just not tired (2 mins later fast asleep!)

8.       The Post bedtime tidy up
You may think that your evening will begin as soon as the little cherubs are tucked into bed… wrong. Now begineth the nuclear clean up of what seems like every bloody toy known to man off the floor. The pasta sauce off the table and the mornings rouge cherios off the floor… and then relax(ish)

And last but not least…
7.
   The Baby Daddy
The mystical creature will wonder at the gift you have given him, for at least a week. He will then say really useful things like the words literally just shouted at me by Dan from the other room…

“Did you know that having sex once a week slows down the aging process”

In my opinion sex gives you children, we have three and I’m pretty sure they have definitely sped up my aging process!

The Three Omigos
aka Little G the boob magnet, Little Miss S the diva and Master R the loveable rouge

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emotional beginnings

And so a break my silence!

Sorry I have been a little MIA, life has become a bit of a distraction – by which I mean I totally haven’t had time to sit down, glass of wine, chocolate, James Bay and my laptop for a good’ol brain dump. Well tonight you lucky things I am well overdue a good brain fart…

Today was a beginning of a very new chapter for us and it feels only fitting that my break in silence is to talk about the whole reason I started this blog nearly 4 years ago. The reason for all my ramblings and continuous mum fails – the reason why and how I have become the mum I am today.

Today Little miss s started school – cue teary eyes and a sunglass wearing school run! She is only just 4 and whilst she was getting ready at 6.30am this morning and forgetting to put on her skirt it dawned on me that this is it my little miss s is growing up, becoming independent (ok bar me pointing out that she needs to cover her pants in public) and starting out on this very exciting journey for the main part by herself. I really didn’t know how I was going to feel today, the run up to the whole ‘starting big school’ has been a looong one – it started last September in pre-school and our daily walks past ‘big school’. If I am really honest with myself I think that ever since that first day last September I have known this day would come but never actually thought it would (I know makes no sense!!.. normal service as resumed!)

And so she went, within a space of an hour getting ready this morning I felt so many emotions, emotions that I really do think define the mum/person that little miss s has turned me into…

Fear – what if she doesn’t like it? What if she falls over and needs me?
Annoyance – It was 6.30am and she was parading around the house in her shirt, pants and shoes!
Anger – at myself for maybe not making her last week with me and master R more special – we went to Sainsbury’s and Co-op, pretty much it.
Sadness – what am I going to do without my little sidekick
Relief – ah the things I am going to get done without my little sidekick
Impatience – seriously, I was ready to pick her up at 2.30pm clock watching

And most of just Pride – so much pride at the little girl that she has become, the fact that at only just 4 she strode into that school on her own with no fears just excitement, that at the end of the day she casually strode out as if this was normal (I was kinda hoping for a big emotional reunion!) but most of all that she is who she is and she is happy with that. I know she’s only 4 but it’s a bloody good start.

Congratulations to all the other school starters this week, kids, mums teachers and young siblings who miss you like crazy!

little miss in school  little miss in school

time is a funny thing

So in the last installment of everything ketchup you were introduced the little miss N, I explained her condition and let you all know that my very talented sister would be creating a print to sell in aid of the British Heart Foundation, the funny thing is that this was now a little while ago…

I am very pleased and proud to announce that my sister has finally hit the ‘where does the time go, what have I done today’ stage of motherhood. In all her new mum naivety and excitement she announced she was doing these prints and so the blog was written (ok, eventually!) the coffee morning we planned has been and gone and alas still no print! Little miss N had a cold and then she needed a bum change and then she was just plain grumpy and with smug smile I am pleased to say it has taken K a little longer than expected to create and print this little masterpiece!

She finally gets why for 3 ½ years I have been running around like a headless chicken and why getting up ½ hour before you have to leave is a thing of the past. In our house every morning little miss s must wake way too early (so in reality we have plenty of time) have her first ‘end of the world’ meltdown, get dressed, get undressed, put her tutu on, take her tutu off, get dressed, have breakfast, finish my breakfast, take her socks off, brush her hair, clean her teeth, attempt another tutu change, put on her coat, put on her shoes, take off her shoes, put on her socks, put on her shoes and FINALLY leave the house. Then comes the walk to school… every curb MUST be walked on and we must wait until the road is completely clear (thankfully there is only one road!). Ah the fun she has to come!!

And so, I am pleased to be able to finally reveal the fab print she has designed, these will be a limited edition with only 50 being produced and once they are gone they are gone. They are designed and screen printed with metallic gold ink and a blush pink by K, it is not framed but the print size will fit an Ikea frame which is always useful!

If you would like to order a print please do not hesitate to get it touch with me or K (if you know her!) and I’m afraid that mail orders will be subject to a small postage charge (only Royal Mail!)

‘Heart of Gold’ Limited Edition Charity Print £25

print 1 heart-of-gold (3 of 7) heart-of-gold (6 of 7) print nols

As mentioned ALL money from the sale will be donated to the British Heart Foundation.

matters of the heart x

150 – this is my 150th Blog post, in this little world of kids, babies, tantrums, husbands, work, family, holidays, wonky faces and not so wonky faces, friends, dreams, memories and prosecco, lots of prosecco!

I wanted to use this post, this milestone to write a little something about someone very special to me. I have written in great detail about little miss s and master r well now they have a little sidekick, id like you to meet little miss N…

Little miss N is my niece, she is a little bundle of smiles and chat – her big blue eyes stare at you and you cannot help but melt (also, ok master r has been hard work but dam she makes me broody!) mind you she’s a little diva, she has this wonderful ‘you think I’m doing that?’ down the nose face and she has well and truly mastered the ‘shit up your back’ nappy! She is my twin sisters first daughter and which by default makes her my second daughter-ish, it’s a difficult relationship to explain and a relationship that was proved in her very first few days. As I mentioned, she is my twins daughter, now my twin is a diva and a bit of a drama queen so it is only natural that little miss N would follow suit!

The first time I met her she was only a few hours old and to be fair I was just happy that K was ok and that she looked like crap (I know that’s really mean, but you have to look like that – you’ve just given birth) she had joined this very special club they call parenthood and I couldn’t have been more proud. Now the second time I saw little miss N she was relaxing under a sunbed with some fetching goggles demanding the attention of all around (yep definitely my sisters daughter!). This thing called parenthood starts with a bang and you can never be prepared for what it throws at you, if your lucky like me and dan you stumble through with poo on your hands and sick over everything and three ours of crying is the worst it will be.

Now little N’s parents really did have a shock, for the little madame had to be admitted back into hospital at 2 days old after a series of ‘episodes,’ K and J had to make a call – they didn’t know what newborn babies were supposed to do or not, they didn’t know what was ‘normal’ because nothing is normal after the event. They made a call, the right call and her episodes were investigated over a week – they stayed by her bedside, they watched her, they held her and they fed her. They became a family, the way in which every family becomes a team – yet they did it in hospital surrounded by wires, nurses and a little sunbathing wired up little miss N. Now I said I was proud of my sister after the birth – I was, but that was nothing compared to the pride and admiration I felt for her when I visited them in hospital and she was there, had been there for days, was feeding her baby herself, was not only in control of the situation but was in control of her family (she had sent J for coffee!) – she was a Mum. That night I went home and held onto my babies thankful that I was a mum and that I have been lucky enough never to be in that situation.

So a little bit about that coffee boy… ok so he didn’t just get the coffee. When K was feeding he was on hand to fetch drinks, hold leads and wind his little girl, when both his girls were sleeping he was watching over them and when they told him to go home, he said no. This little girl needed her dad as much as her mum and I know for a fact that her mum needed him more than ever before and he was there for every step.

And it turns out that, yes little miss N is special – not just because she has my nose (seriously, random!) but because she has been diagnosed with a condition called Wolff Parkinson White Syndrome (WPW) now I could get all technical on you and go into long explanations about the orthodromic atrioventricular re-entrant tachycardia (yep check me! Ok so totally copied and pasted that!) but in a nutshell it means that little miss N’s heart sometimes goes a little nuts, the beats per minute can raise and this is not a good thing. To counteract this she is on medicine daily to ensure that her heart remains steady, K and J have to take her heart rate daily and she will see specialists periodically for the foreseeable future. This syndrome is a sly little bugger and can go undetected for years – many just think thy are having a panic attack as the symptoms could be confused, light-headedness, dizziness, shortness of breathe and palpitations to name a few. The fact that little miss N has been diagnosed so young is a testament to her parents, they knew what was not normal for their 2 day old baby girl – it proves the whole ‘trust your gut’ theory.

So little miss N has a heart condition, it will not define who she is, her Mum and Dad will make sure of that – I am also pretty certain that she is going to have her very own personal bodyguard in master r when they grow up (seriously the boy is a beast!) But matters of the heart can affect anybody – just this year as well as little miss N’s diagnosis my Granddad underwent a triple heart bypass. You never know what is round the corner so to help raise a little bit of money my sister will be creating a print to sell with all proceeds being donated to the British Heart Foundation. The money that we can raise will directly go to fund research projects to better understand how to diagnose, prevent, treat and cure heart disease.

Sooo, put your hand on your chest, feel your heart beat? – Now, hand in pocket please!!!!… well not quite yet, blog with print visuals and order details is to follow shortly!

Nols smiles

our little miss N

Nols Family

one plus two makes three xxx

 

There it is again, the music in my head!

Master R is now 5 ½ months old!!! How did that happen?! It seems like only yesterday that he was evicted and started life as the forth member of the Thompsons. At the same time it feels like the little man has always been here and I can’t for the life of me imagine life without him now…

Him and all his little quirks, he is soooo unlike little miss s its untrue, as I have written before we did not get off to the best of starts with me not actually coping very well with the constant crying for the first 6-8weeks. The midwife said he would grow out of it, and you know what he did – and he has kept growing! At 5 months old he is bigger than little miss s at 9 months… he’s a big boy! He is also a stubborn little thing, he has just started this delightful angry growl if he is unhappy about something – it is the cutest as I have this angry 5 month old growling at me because he wants his toy or bottle or any of the other very important life items to a baby!

The boy is also a complete flurt, he has lots of fans around the village we live in and it takes me ages to go anywhere with everyone wanting a smile and look at his hair… he has rather a lot of hair! Unlike little miss s he is not selective when it comes to smiles and he will smile at anyone – luckily the excited sequel has been reserved for only his favourite people! All in all he is a happy little chap, he is now on the move too – the other day he had managed to belly, roll wriggle himself under the sofa! Today after squeal from his cot, I was greeted by baby legs and baby arms stuck between bars across the cot – I honestly have no idea how he managed it but he was still smiling! He adores his older sister and watches her every move, he even seems to enjoy being climbed all over and talked at like one of her dolls! The bond they are starting to create is amazing to watch and cements my decision that I didn’t want just one child. As much as they get on they have also started to gang up on me a little… hence the music in my head!

On the days when we have started the day at 5.30am, had the ‘go back to bed’ discussion until 7am, had the get dressed, clean your teeth, we are going to be late for school, put your coat back on battle on until 8.30am… by 4pm we often get some lovely tandem screaming from the little cherubs, this is when I, if all else fails, put them in their rooms, sit on the stairs and listen to the music in my head – last Friday we had a little ‘Fire Starter’ today a little ‘Cwm By Yar’ (I have no idea how to spell that!) but all it takes to forget the ‘world is ending’ meltdown is a smile from my cheeky chap and a cwtch from the little madame.

Master R has well and truly settled into his role as the noise machine in the house, Little miss s is the performer, Dan is the ring master and I think I am pretty much the clown! I cannot wait to see this little man grow and start getting his own back on his big sister, I also have bets on his first words being ‘Let it go’ thanks to our little performer!

IMG_1744

my little monsters!

IMG_1769

getting a bit big!

IMG_1756

my little helper

pushing my luck

Its Friday night, I am in my lazy’s and the littles are in bed – I am also eating peanuts trying to be healthy imagining they are chocolate buttons! In a quiet moment it’s great to reflect and I cant help but chuckle about a day I had last week, it pretty much sums up my life lately and if you didn’t laugh you would crack up!

The days goal was simple – get paint for kitchen and do a food shop. This sounds easy doesn’t it?! Add two kids, one tired mum and a few hefty rain showers to the mix and we had all sorts of fun!

After a morning for little miss s in music and at a friend’s house we made our way to Newport. I decided to go to a retail park where I could get paint and food only parking once…

So…park, pram out of boot, baby out, toddler woken up and dragged out of car, into shop

In we go to Wicks to try and find the paint for the kitchen, no paint for the kitchen but they did have some blackboard paint for a DIY blackboard I was planning so we left with one tin of blackboard paint.

So… back to the car, pram in boot with paint. It’s raining now and we have no coats so cue manic dash to the car and back to Aldi for the food shop. Bit of a dilemma as master r is asleep so do I wake him up and put him in the trolley baby seat or keep him in the car seat?

Car seat it is, on one of those trolleys with a tray – only issue with this is that at 5ft I cant see a bloody thing, this was made very evident when I crashed into a display on entering the shop. So massive bang accompanied by master r waking up and letting everyone know about it and also little miss s who really, really needed to sit in the trolley. For a quiet life (and you really do have to pick your battles!) little miss s is now in the trolley and we are getting all ‘supermarket sweep’ about this shop and getting it done as soon as we can. But something catches my eye.. Blackboard pant – I need blackboard paint, great, in the trolley it goes. We then pay, with just one screaming kid as little miss s has managed to eat a plum through the wire packaging it came in…great.

So… back to the car (in the rain with no coats) baby in, round the car, toddler in, wipe toddlers face, boot open shopping in on top of pram wheels. Boot shut and then the mad mum dash to the trolley park whilst you leave your kids in the car – can’t find another trolley to plug the money thing into so forfeit the £1 as I am now puffed, quiet far away from the car and getting rather wet.

This was when I made a huge mistake – I should have gone home, at this pint the day wasn’t too bad, but no I decided to drive 10mins to the next town to try B&Q for paint.

So… park, shopping out of boot, then pram out, shopping back in, baby out, grumpy sleepy toddler out, into shop.

Paint is found in record time and with little fuss so we get two tins and pay with no issues. And as B&Q is next to TKMaxx it would have been rude not too have a quick look at the home bits and bobs – BIG mistake!!!!! Cue 5mins in the shop and I have two very bored children who were not scared to let the whole of the shop know – we make a swift exit, only after little miss s ran off, yes I was ‘that’ mum yelling at their kid across the shop.

So… back to the car, baby in, toddler in, boot open, shopping out, notice the extra tin of blackboard paint…crap! Pram in, notice that the two tins of paint that I just bought are tile paint NOT cupboard pant…pram out, shopping in, baby out, toddler out back into shop.

Ok by now I was getting a bit tired and just really wanted to go home – so back into the shop to change the paint and wait for the lady that can do refunds and exchanges. By this point little miss s was VERY bored, she demonstrated this by swinging on the exit barrier whilst I waited to pay, master r on the other hand just screamed!

So I did what every mother would do at this point… offered the lady at the till a two for one offer on children. She actually laughed and said ‘no way!’ – how rude, my little cherubs are a delight! And back to the car we go..

(yep still raining!) Baby in, toddler in, boot open, shopping out, pram in, shopping in, mum in and home!

So the lesson learnt – don’t try to do too much in a day with two kids and half your brain. You also really don’t need two tins of blackboard paint – but the two bottles of Aldi Prosecco were a must!

Team Thompson... note the bags under my eyes!

Team Thompson… note the bags under my eyes!

taking stock

wow! How things have changed here in Thompson towers. My last blog was over 3 months ago and gave you all an insight into the world of pregnancy… that period is now well and truly over!!

I’d like to introduce Master R, born on the 29th May via elected C-Section and the little mummy’s boy is settling in nicely. (finally!)

Master R

It has taken me up until now to find time to write a blog as over the last 9 weeks I have been totally up to my eyes in nappies, bottles and toddler tantrums! I had forgotten what having a newborn was like, how they are relying on you for everything and how lost you can get in their stare whilst feeding. Over the past two months I have had ups and downs and lots and lots of tears (happy ones too!)

It is hard to admit but I can honestly say hand on heart that I have found the second child experience totally exhausting – my choice to have an elected C-Section was so right for me in the long term (no one wants to shit-sneeze!) but for the first few weeks I was convinced that I had made a terrible decision, as I battled with the ‘I didn’t give birth’ demons and how blinking painful the recovery was. Now, I like to think that I have a pretty high pain threshold but this hurt…lots! Mentally I was so tired as Master R failed to settle at all, he cried ALL the time and nothing would calm him down, in my mixed up mind it was him getting his own back as he had been evicted before he was ready! Add to this feeling my completely crap tits… yes I would love to breastfeed my children and if another doctor asks me if I tried hard enough I am going to slap him with my broken boobs (sorry totally another post altogether!) mastitis and thrush and just blood made feeding soo painful that by week 2 I was done.

Hand on heart the first six weeks sucked! I know I shouldn’t say this, I know I should be in this brand new baby bubble of love and wistful looks and it should have been love at first sight… it wasn’t. Don’t get me wrong I love the little monster and always have, I just didn’t like him very much for the first six weeks of his life, hence tears and guilt pretty much everyday. I think Dan thought I was having a mini breakdown (again!) he even grassed on me to the midwife!

Then I went on a hen do.

My constantly crying baby and troublesome toddler were abandoned by their mother and left with their Dad (sorry Dan!) probably at a time when my feelings should have been taking a back seat. But sorry I went, I drank and danced and laughed and had a good time, I was allowed to be me again. In doing so I missed my little crying baby and troublesome toddler and for this weekend I am forever grateful. I was able to take a breath and go back in for round two feeling refreshed and ready.

And you know what – I think I’m winning round two. Master R has settled down and is a smiley and content(ish) little man and as for little miss s, well she is still insisting on lots of cuddles with master r but at least she has stopped putting her fingers in his mouth! As for me, I’m ok – its hard but it was never going to be easy but it hurts how much I love my little family, and I think I my have to buy some shares in Prosseco!

wonky, windy relaxing

I ventured into new territory this evening – I attended a relaxing anti-natal birthing class. It pretty much is what it says on the tin, a class to help you relax and encourage the best birth you can possibly have. This is not something that I ever did with little miss s and first time round found myself a little naive when it came to the actual birth bit. No such luck this time round, I have little anxieties about everything, will I go all natural, opt of a sunroof joby or will the little one decide for itself with the position of the placenta?!?!

Add to these birth questions the never ending Bells Palsy saga and the fact that we are moving house next week and I am a little stressed. I think Dan may have got the picture this morning when after the devil reincarnated itself as little miss s at 2am this morning for an hour of screaming, kicking and general crapyiness, come 3am as quickly as it came it went and I was told to leave her alone so she could go to sleep?!?!? Oh and I was totally overjoyed at hearing her wonderful morning welcome of ‘MUMMY, MUMMY I need a poo’ at 6am – then to get her ready and off to nursery whilst singing the Jungle Book/wheels on the bus before a whole day in the office. A day that I survived purely based on the amount of bread I consumed… hot cross bun anyone?!

And so, to say that I fancied a bit of relaxation tonight was an understatement and when Dan suggested a fish and chip super before I left for the class I was thrilled, tonight was starting well! I wasn’t too sure what to expect from this class and as with most things during pregnancy went with an open mind hoping to learn a little something but really to have a little nap in a peaceful and calming environment, far far away from Peppa Pig! And we started off well, the ladies were lovely and welcoming and like me loved to share a births story and moan about this weeks aches, pains and appointment scares.

The core aspect of the class was focused around learning to breathe and stay calm during labour, to relax your mind, body and soul and all that jazz. This I’m afraid was when my issues began… I am physically unable to relax my face – the Bells Palsy means that the righthand side of my face is forever tense, I just cant relax it and then instead of relaxing I’m concentrating and thinking about relaxing and my mind is in overdrive with, relax, relax, stop thinking and relax… a viscous non relaxing circle! Another of my major issues was that I had fish and chips for tea. Now fish and chips give me wind – normally not too bad but in pregnancy it is sooo much worse and when your trying to relax your entire body whilst on all four position instead of relaxing your mind is racing…don’t fart, don’t fart, don’t fart!!! So in essence I spent the whole time over thinking everything and trying really really hard not to fart. I may have sneefarted (snezzed and let a little one out) at one point but I don’t think anyone noticed?! O god I am gong to be forever known as the girl who looked like she was chewing a wasp who had flatulence problems.

I must say though as I said earlier I think Dan got the message as I was welcomed home with a hot bath, candles and incense (ok WAY too much incense but it was the thought that counted!) and farting in the bath is just the perfect way to relax!!

s1

This is her crafty face!

s2

and hoommmm

s3

The boy done good with the candles, but did leave in the non slip croc!


it’s not always the same story…

When you become a mum you have endless conversations with fellow new mums about your pregnancy and birth experiences and it soon becomes apparent that what they say is true… everyone is different! 

Little did I know that my very own pregnancies would be so very different;

The first with little miss s was full of anticipation and wonder, I spent the first three months dying to tell everyman and his dog – looking into the ‘essential baby buys’ what needs to be packed in my hospital bag and endless web research on what happens week-by-week. I obsessed over the little things from, is this morning sickness to is my bump the right size? We had every test going thinking that this was essential and what you had to do – we attended the classes and read the books, we were ready(ish). We even found out the sex and named our little angel at around 25 weeks – we spent the remainder of the pregnancy trying to keep both a secret from our families…that didn’t really work!!

This first experience felt like it took ages to progress and I looked forward to each midwife appointment, learning more about this little person growing inside of me. Don’t get me wrong, along with my curiosity came fear and dread –I was going into the un-known and didn’t to the full extent imagine how much my life would change after the little arrival. I spent the 10 months (yes its 10 months people not 9!!) eating what I wanting and generally being a little pathetic, sleeping and resting at any given opportunity and man did I milk it with the hubby, as a result I put on 3 stone, which for someone who only just reaches 5ft wasn’t the easiest to pull off.  And then finally at 40+1.5 weeks the little monster affectionately known on here as little miss s arrived and became part of our little family. 

I enjoyed my first experience of pregnancy and at no point ever believed anything could go wrong, it didn’t (ok bar Bells Palsy but that is more of a blip!) and I was lucky, little miss s is the most precious and loved person in both mine and Dan’s world and this made my second pregnancy experience all the more heart breaking. 

We always knew that we wanted little miss s to have siblings and when last spring I found out that I was expecting again we were both over the moon, the age gap would be a prefect 2.5 years and we both felt that we were more than ready for our next family challenge, even if it was a little bit of a shock! As with pregnancy #1 we were positive and felt like this was our time, I was however feeling like death and couldn’t seem to keep anything up (I seem to have the opposite to morning sickness!) on some days I was unable to venture 5 metres from the loo and found myself staying home with little miss s to avoid any potential ‘episodes!’. To add to our excitement the little one was due on  New Year’s Eve, not the best planning but it would make for an interesting Christmas! Our 12 week scan came round and both Dan and I waited  with great excitement to catch a glimpse of our newest addition… Now when everything goes really quite in the scan room and the nurse gives you a look that can only mean one thing, it generally does. It turns out that pregnancy #2 was not meant to be – my heart broke in an instant. The rest of this pregnancy experience is private I’m afraid and the moments, conversations and emotions that followed will remain between Dan and myself and be something we will never forget. All sorts of feelings go through your mind, and you think you’ll never get over it or want to put yourself through it ever again, which leads me onto pregnancy #3…

I have mentioned on this here blog before that I may have gone a little mental… the first 12 weeks of pregnancy #3 was a mixture of stress, anxiety, panic attacks, fear and an overwhelming feeling of dread. I did not want to believe that all would be fine as I did that last time. This time round I did not allow myself to think ahead, we took each day as it came and muddled our way through to our first scan. At 12 weeks, we were terrified – Dan was my rock and at the sight of our baby our hearts skipped a beat – there it was in all its moving, heart beating glory… and relax!

Normal service kind of resumed, we allowed ourselves to think about our baby and to even start thinking of names…the arguments have begun!! This time round everything could not be more different, I have had to completely change my diet as it seems diary just does not agree with me and by doing this I have nearly eliminated the ‘episodes’ so there has been no chocolate, cake, cheese, yoghurts, milk over the last 20 weeks (seriously nearly died over Christmas!) and when I say ‘no’ I may have cheated a few times just to test my tolerance! I have not put on any weight really and am being very careful with my diet – I am very aware that what I do can directly effect my unborn child. Look after yourself, look after them!

At 25 weeks gone, my bump is growing and so is my excitement and love for the little person growing inside of me as it did with all of them – pregnancy number three, baby number three we cannot wait to meet you. (15 weeks and counting!)

Will I get pregnant again?!… we’ll see! For every pregnancy for me (for many it’s different, if we were all the same it would be boring!) there is very much a baby and you are a mum, be it 2 weeks or 40 they become a part of your life, your past and your future – it’s just you may not get to meet them all. They shape the way you cherish all of your nearest and dearest and I would like to say thank you to mine as without them I would have without a doubt gone prober mental!

s4 s3s2 s1
Just like pregnancy these kid things are one of a kind too!

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Looking forward to becoming four x

style v’s substance

I have posted in the past about my ‘Mummy Wear’ the fat pants, big jumper and slippers… well now that I am with child number two I find myself changing into this mummy wear as soon as the door is shut behind me. Top of my Christmas list this year was a dressing gown and slippers! Is it ok to turn into a chav of the night rather than lady of the night (ok maybe not lady of the night, but you get my drift!) as soon as it turns 8pm… who am I kidding 5pm?

And as many things do, it got me a’thinking about my ‘style’. I recently read somewhere that there is a distinct ‘mum’ style of skinny jeans, stripy top and converse trainers – whilst reading and totally disagreeing with this statement I was wearing skinny jeans, a stripy top and converse trainers… time to mix it up a little.

Since the arrival of little miss s two and a half years ago (OMG!) I have actually found myself with a little more confidence when it comes to dressing –I had never really been the shy dress to hide type, or the look at me look at me type, I stayed rather boringly in the middle of the fashion howha and wore what I saw others wearing. Since S I seem to care a lot less about what other people think and tend to wear something if I like it. It may look odd but if I like it then who cares right? This new found confidence / arrogance may also have something to do with the Bells Palsy, with such a visually striking condition I have learnt over time (often the hard, slowly, painful, ever so slightly over dramatic emotional way) that your appearance is not everything – confidence and how you carry yourself have an awful lot more umph in everyday life. I also find myself maybe trying to stand out a little and look a little differently now – I find that I now tend to dress my personality rather than for looks. I am a dunagree, bobble hat, slipper, onesie wearing kinda gal and if you don’t like it, well, your missing out because dungarees are the BOMB!

And than BAM I am presented with a whole new challenge – dressing an ever growing bowling ball, not to mention the ballooning boobies! I do have to say that I after starting off so well with my ‘no leggings in pregnancy’ policy I have failed. I am only 22 weeks and not even half the size I am going to end up, but seriously there are only so many times I can tie my jeans up with a hair bobble. Buy maternity jeans I hear you cry… have you seen maternity jeans?! To get a decent pair you have to spend £30 at least and even then its under the bump or over the bump, skinny jean, flared, boyfriend style… in my current state of mind I am in no position to make important decisions like that. Little miss s’ future pre-school, yes, maternity jeans, no. Anyway I digress, leggings, I have allowed myself to wear them but on one condition – that they are as mad and colourful as how I feel at the moment and hey if people are looking at your legs they aint looking at the bump or face! I even bought and wore a jumpsuit last week (not maternity but ever so stretchy!) which was great and didn’t look half bad, although pregnant people need to use the loo a lot – getting naked everytime did become a little old. Revelation number two was that I wore a bikini swimming… the less said about that the better, but does anyone else try on their swimmers before going swimming – just in case 1. They don’t fit or 2. To make sure your trimmed!? I am learning to be a little more adventurous with my clothes, and little miss s isn’t really old enough yet to die of embarrassment so I’m rolling with it!

So the bump dressing adventure begins, but just to be sure, its never acceptable to wear pj’s out of the house right?!

me1

the jumpsuit!me2the leggingsme3less said about this the betterme4ahhhh and relax

And yes these are in black and white as its more flattering… still vain!