And so a break my silence!
Sorry I have been a little MIA, life has become a bit of a distraction – by which I mean I totally haven’t had time to sit down, glass of wine, chocolate, James Bay and my laptop for a good’ol brain dump. Well tonight you lucky things I am well overdue a good brain fart…
Today was a beginning of a very new chapter for us and it feels only fitting that my break in silence is to talk about the whole reason I started this blog nearly 4 years ago. The reason for all my ramblings and continuous mum fails – the reason why and how I have become the mum I am today.
Today Little miss s started school – cue teary eyes and a sunglass wearing school run! She is only just 4 and whilst she was getting ready at 6.30am this morning and forgetting to put on her skirt it dawned on me that this is it my little miss s is growing up, becoming independent (ok bar me pointing out that she needs to cover her pants in public) and starting out on this very exciting journey for the main part by herself. I really didn’t know how I was going to feel today, the run up to the whole ‘starting big school’ has been a looong one – it started last September in pre-school and our daily walks past ‘big school’. If I am really honest with myself I think that ever since that first day last September I have known this day would come but never actually thought it would (I know makes no sense!!.. normal service as resumed!)
And so she went, within a space of an hour getting ready this morning I felt so many emotions, emotions that I really do think define the mum/person that little miss s has turned me into…
Fear – what if she doesn’t like it? What if she falls over and needs me?
Annoyance – It was 6.30am and she was parading around the house in her shirt, pants and shoes!
Anger – at myself for maybe not making her last week with me and master R more special – we went to Sainsbury’s and Co-op, pretty much it.
Sadness – what am I going to do without my little sidekick
Relief – ah the things I am going to get done without my little sidekick
Impatience – seriously, I was ready to pick her up at 2.30pm clock watching
And most of just Pride – so much pride at the little girl that she has become, the fact that at only just 4 she strode into that school on her own with no fears just excitement, that at the end of the day she casually strode out as if this was normal (I was kinda hoping for a big emotional reunion!) but most of all that she is who she is and she is happy with that. I know she’s only 4 but it’s a bloody good start.
Congratulations to all the other school starters this week, kids, mums teachers and young siblings who miss you like crazy!