I ventured into new territory this evening – I attended a relaxing anti-natal birthing class. It pretty much is what it says on the tin, a class to help you relax and encourage the best birth you can possibly have. This is not something that I ever did with little miss s and first time round found myself a little naive when it came to the actual birth bit. No such luck this time round, I have little anxieties about everything, will I go all natural, opt of a sunroof joby or will the little one decide for itself with the position of the placenta?!?!
Add to these birth questions the never ending Bells Palsy saga and the fact that we are moving house next week and I am a little stressed. I think Dan may have got the picture this morning when after the devil reincarnated itself as little miss s at 2am this morning for an hour of screaming, kicking and general crapyiness, come 3am as quickly as it came it went and I was told to leave her alone so she could go to sleep?!?!? Oh and I was totally overjoyed at hearing her wonderful morning welcome of ‘MUMMY, MUMMY I need a poo’ at 6am – then to get her ready and off to nursery whilst singing the Jungle Book/wheels on the bus before a whole day in the office. A day that I survived purely based on the amount of bread I consumed… hot cross bun anyone?!
And so, to say that I fancied a bit of relaxation tonight was an understatement and when Dan suggested a fish and chip super before I left for the class I was thrilled, tonight was starting well! I wasn’t too sure what to expect from this class and as with most things during pregnancy went with an open mind hoping to learn a little something but really to have a little nap in a peaceful and calming environment, far far away from Peppa Pig! And we started off well, the ladies were lovely and welcoming and like me loved to share a births story and moan about this weeks aches, pains and appointment scares.
The core aspect of the class was focused around learning to breathe and stay calm during labour, to relax your mind, body and soul and all that jazz. This I’m afraid was when my issues began… I am physically unable to relax my face – the Bells Palsy means that the righthand side of my face is forever tense, I just cant relax it and then instead of relaxing I’m concentrating and thinking about relaxing and my mind is in overdrive with, relax, relax, stop thinking and relax… a viscous non relaxing circle! Another of my major issues was that I had fish and chips for tea. Now fish and chips give me wind – normally not too bad but in pregnancy it is sooo much worse and when your trying to relax your entire body whilst on all four position instead of relaxing your mind is racing…don’t fart, don’t fart, don’t fart!!! So in essence I spent the whole time over thinking everything and trying really really hard not to fart. I may have sneefarted (snezzed and let a little one out) at one point but I don’t think anyone noticed?! O god I am gong to be forever known as the girl who looked like she was chewing a wasp who had flatulence problems.
I must say though as I said earlier I think Dan got the message as I was welcomed home with a hot bath, candles and incense (ok WAY too much incense but it was the thought that counted!) and farting in the bath is just the perfect way to relax!!