wonky, windy relaxing

I ventured into new territory this evening – I attended a relaxing anti-natal birthing class. It pretty much is what it says on the tin, a class to help you relax and encourage the best birth you can possibly have. This is not something that I ever did with little miss s and first time round found myself a little naive when it came to the actual birth bit. No such luck this time round, I have little anxieties about everything, will I go all natural, opt of a sunroof joby or will the little one decide for itself with the position of the placenta?!?!

Add to these birth questions the never ending Bells Palsy saga and the fact that we are moving house next week and I am a little stressed. I think Dan may have got the picture this morning when after the devil reincarnated itself as little miss s at 2am this morning for an hour of screaming, kicking and general crapyiness, come 3am as quickly as it came it went and I was told to leave her alone so she could go to sleep?!?!? Oh and I was totally overjoyed at hearing her wonderful morning welcome of ‘MUMMY, MUMMY I need a poo’ at 6am – then to get her ready and off to nursery whilst singing the Jungle Book/wheels on the bus before a whole day in the office. A day that I survived purely based on the amount of bread I consumed… hot cross bun anyone?!

And so, to say that I fancied a bit of relaxation tonight was an understatement and when Dan suggested a fish and chip super before I left for the class I was thrilled, tonight was starting well! I wasn’t too sure what to expect from this class and as with most things during pregnancy went with an open mind hoping to learn a little something but really to have a little nap in a peaceful and calming environment, far far away from Peppa Pig! And we started off well, the ladies were lovely and welcoming and like me loved to share a births story and moan about this weeks aches, pains and appointment scares.

The core aspect of the class was focused around learning to breathe and stay calm during labour, to relax your mind, body and soul and all that jazz. This I’m afraid was when my issues began… I am physically unable to relax my face – the Bells Palsy means that the righthand side of my face is forever tense, I just cant relax it and then instead of relaxing I’m concentrating and thinking about relaxing and my mind is in overdrive with, relax, relax, stop thinking and relax… a viscous non relaxing circle! Another of my major issues was that I had fish and chips for tea. Now fish and chips give me wind – normally not too bad but in pregnancy it is sooo much worse and when your trying to relax your entire body whilst on all four position instead of relaxing your mind is racing…don’t fart, don’t fart, don’t fart!!! So in essence I spent the whole time over thinking everything and trying really really hard not to fart. I may have sneefarted (snezzed and let a little one out) at one point but I don’t think anyone noticed?! O god I am gong to be forever known as the girl who looked like she was chewing a wasp who had flatulence problems.

I must say though as I said earlier I think Dan got the message as I was welcomed home with a hot bath, candles and incense (ok WAY too much incense but it was the thought that counted!) and farting in the bath is just the perfect way to relax!!

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This is her crafty face!

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and hoommmm

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The boy done good with the candles, but did leave in the non slip croc!


it’s not always the same story…

When you become a mum you have endless conversations with fellow new mums about your pregnancy and birth experiences and it soon becomes apparent that what they say is true… everyone is different! 

Little did I know that my very own pregnancies would be so very different;

The first with little miss s was full of anticipation and wonder, I spent the first three months dying to tell everyman and his dog – looking into the ‘essential baby buys’ what needs to be packed in my hospital bag and endless web research on what happens week-by-week. I obsessed over the little things from, is this morning sickness to is my bump the right size? We had every test going thinking that this was essential and what you had to do – we attended the classes and read the books, we were ready(ish). We even found out the sex and named our little angel at around 25 weeks – we spent the remainder of the pregnancy trying to keep both a secret from our families…that didn’t really work!!

This first experience felt like it took ages to progress and I looked forward to each midwife appointment, learning more about this little person growing inside of me. Don’t get me wrong, along with my curiosity came fear and dread –I was going into the un-known and didn’t to the full extent imagine how much my life would change after the little arrival. I spent the 10 months (yes its 10 months people not 9!!) eating what I wanting and generally being a little pathetic, sleeping and resting at any given opportunity and man did I milk it with the hubby, as a result I put on 3 stone, which for someone who only just reaches 5ft wasn’t the easiest to pull off.  And then finally at 40+1.5 weeks the little monster affectionately known on here as little miss s arrived and became part of our little family. 

I enjoyed my first experience of pregnancy and at no point ever believed anything could go wrong, it didn’t (ok bar Bells Palsy but that is more of a blip!) and I was lucky, little miss s is the most precious and loved person in both mine and Dan’s world and this made my second pregnancy experience all the more heart breaking. 

We always knew that we wanted little miss s to have siblings and when last spring I found out that I was expecting again we were both over the moon, the age gap would be a prefect 2.5 years and we both felt that we were more than ready for our next family challenge, even if it was a little bit of a shock! As with pregnancy #1 we were positive and felt like this was our time, I was however feeling like death and couldn’t seem to keep anything up (I seem to have the opposite to morning sickness!) on some days I was unable to venture 5 metres from the loo and found myself staying home with little miss s to avoid any potential ‘episodes!’. To add to our excitement the little one was due on  New Year’s Eve, not the best planning but it would make for an interesting Christmas! Our 12 week scan came round and both Dan and I waited  with great excitement to catch a glimpse of our newest addition… Now when everything goes really quite in the scan room and the nurse gives you a look that can only mean one thing, it generally does. It turns out that pregnancy #2 was not meant to be – my heart broke in an instant. The rest of this pregnancy experience is private I’m afraid and the moments, conversations and emotions that followed will remain between Dan and myself and be something we will never forget. All sorts of feelings go through your mind, and you think you’ll never get over it or want to put yourself through it ever again, which leads me onto pregnancy #3…

I have mentioned on this here blog before that I may have gone a little mental… the first 12 weeks of pregnancy #3 was a mixture of stress, anxiety, panic attacks, fear and an overwhelming feeling of dread. I did not want to believe that all would be fine as I did that last time. This time round I did not allow myself to think ahead, we took each day as it came and muddled our way through to our first scan. At 12 weeks, we were terrified – Dan was my rock and at the sight of our baby our hearts skipped a beat – there it was in all its moving, heart beating glory… and relax!

Normal service kind of resumed, we allowed ourselves to think about our baby and to even start thinking of names…the arguments have begun!! This time round everything could not be more different, I have had to completely change my diet as it seems diary just does not agree with me and by doing this I have nearly eliminated the ‘episodes’ so there has been no chocolate, cake, cheese, yoghurts, milk over the last 20 weeks (seriously nearly died over Christmas!) and when I say ‘no’ I may have cheated a few times just to test my tolerance! I have not put on any weight really and am being very careful with my diet – I am very aware that what I do can directly effect my unborn child. Look after yourself, look after them!

At 25 weeks gone, my bump is growing and so is my excitement and love for the little person growing inside of me as it did with all of them – pregnancy number three, baby number three we cannot wait to meet you. (15 weeks and counting!)

Will I get pregnant again?!… we’ll see! For every pregnancy for me (for many it’s different, if we were all the same it would be boring!) there is very much a baby and you are a mum, be it 2 weeks or 40 they become a part of your life, your past and your future – it’s just you may not get to meet them all. They shape the way you cherish all of your nearest and dearest and I would like to say thank you to mine as without them I would have without a doubt gone prober mental!

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Just like pregnancy these kid things are one of a kind too!

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Looking forward to becoming four x

#100HappyDays

Whilst perusing the world of blogging I came across a new and intriguing project, the 100 Happy Days challenge.

The challenge… post a photo everyday for 100 days of something that makes you feel happy, that might even be something as small as the time on the clock when you’ve had an unexpected lie-in!

2013 was a rather tough year and at some moments it was rather hard to stay upbeat and happy – this little challenge will help me to take stock, pause and enjoy all the little things, appreciate how lucky I am and record all those little snippets of smiles. I have found myself being a little glass half empty lately so it is about time I shook it up a little. 100 photos, 100 days all recorded on the happy place that is Instagram, here goes!

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style v’s substance

I have posted in the past about my ‘Mummy Wear’ the fat pants, big jumper and slippers… well now that I am with child number two I find myself changing into this mummy wear as soon as the door is shut behind me. Top of my Christmas list this year was a dressing gown and slippers! Is it ok to turn into a chav of the night rather than lady of the night (ok maybe not lady of the night, but you get my drift!) as soon as it turns 8pm… who am I kidding 5pm?

And as many things do, it got me a’thinking about my ‘style’. I recently read somewhere that there is a distinct ‘mum’ style of skinny jeans, stripy top and converse trainers – whilst reading and totally disagreeing with this statement I was wearing skinny jeans, a stripy top and converse trainers… time to mix it up a little.

Since the arrival of little miss s two and a half years ago (OMG!) I have actually found myself with a little more confidence when it comes to dressing –I had never really been the shy dress to hide type, or the look at me look at me type, I stayed rather boringly in the middle of the fashion howha and wore what I saw others wearing. Since S I seem to care a lot less about what other people think and tend to wear something if I like it. It may look odd but if I like it then who cares right? This new found confidence / arrogance may also have something to do with the Bells Palsy, with such a visually striking condition I have learnt over time (often the hard, slowly, painful, ever so slightly over dramatic emotional way) that your appearance is not everything – confidence and how you carry yourself have an awful lot more umph in everyday life. I also find myself maybe trying to stand out a little and look a little differently now – I find that I now tend to dress my personality rather than for looks. I am a dunagree, bobble hat, slipper, onesie wearing kinda gal and if you don’t like it, well, your missing out because dungarees are the BOMB!

And than BAM I am presented with a whole new challenge – dressing an ever growing bowling ball, not to mention the ballooning boobies! I do have to say that I after starting off so well with my ‘no leggings in pregnancy’ policy I have failed. I am only 22 weeks and not even half the size I am going to end up, but seriously there are only so many times I can tie my jeans up with a hair bobble. Buy maternity jeans I hear you cry… have you seen maternity jeans?! To get a decent pair you have to spend £30 at least and even then its under the bump or over the bump, skinny jean, flared, boyfriend style… in my current state of mind I am in no position to make important decisions like that. Little miss s’ future pre-school, yes, maternity jeans, no. Anyway I digress, leggings, I have allowed myself to wear them but on one condition – that they are as mad and colourful as how I feel at the moment and hey if people are looking at your legs they aint looking at the bump or face! I even bought and wore a jumpsuit last week (not maternity but ever so stretchy!) which was great and didn’t look half bad, although pregnant people need to use the loo a lot – getting naked everytime did become a little old. Revelation number two was that I wore a bikini swimming… the less said about that the better, but does anyone else try on their swimmers before going swimming – just in case 1. They don’t fit or 2. To make sure your trimmed!? I am learning to be a little more adventurous with my clothes, and little miss s isn’t really old enough yet to die of embarrassment so I’m rolling with it!

So the bump dressing adventure begins, but just to be sure, its never acceptable to wear pj’s out of the house right?!

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the jumpsuit!me2the leggingsme3less said about this the betterme4ahhhh and relax

And yes these are in black and white as its more flattering… still vain!

feeling urgh…

Lately with the changing body and impending addition to our family I find myself with a short temper and no patience whatsoever! Poor little miss s has had the brunt of this over tired feeling – I think I can safely say that I have been having a bad mum week.

It was so bad that after an eventful music group where she managed to knock one child over, shut a door on another and wet herself on the way home, I gave up – the thought of walking all the way to the shop with the monster (its like 200 meters!) filled me with dread, so I hoped across the road for a chip shop saviour, the chip butty! This leads me on to more mum failings in the 5 a day category – the pang of guilty struck tonight when I served up fish fingers and potato croquettes and whilst reading through the nursery handbook realising that she would require a packed lunch… like everytime she goes meaning that people will also see what she has for lunch! Don’t get me wrong she eats fruit and when promised a treat from the shop will more often than not opt for blueberries! But as usual mum could do better!

Another recent change to our routine is that I don’t wake up! All of you mums will know that as soon as that little bambino pops out you are programmed to wake up and generally not fall into a deep sleep, like ever. You wake at very cough or sneeze and have that sixth sense of what disturbs them in the night. This week Dan has woken me up with ‘its your turn’ this would suggest that he has already taken a turn!?! (or, he’s a crafty liar) Not once this week have I heard little miss s in the night, maybe it just means that I am subconsciously training Dan in the art of toddler taming for when I have my hands full with little or mister Thompson number 2 or the exhaustion has just taken its toll, good luck trying to wake me at 9 months preggers!

In light of my recent mother failings Dan has really bloody shone at the whole Dad thing…this just makes it suck that bit more! Where I used to have the patience he has stolen it, for example tonight I lost my rag after 5 minutes of screaming about cleaning teeth, cue super bloody Dad, a song, a dance, a little game, him cleaning his teeth and 15 minutes later she was ready to get into her Pj’s. 5 minutes later once again he took over as that too was becoming a mission for this tired and ratty mum.

Is it ok to be ratty? Is it ok to love your child unconditionally but not really like them for an hour/day? Is it ok not to fulfil the 5 a day everyday  – maybe up it to 7 one day instead?! And is it ok to hate with a passion that ‘told you so’ look from your smug husband when he succeeds where you have failed?!

Ahh baby number two you are making mama exhausted… good practice then!

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The little monkey copying mum, doing her makeup and taking photos!

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Fish is good right?! and the ‘I don’t want to get dressed’ stance

So that’s where she gets it from…

I have noticed that on this little blog of mine I have talked in great length about little miss s and have not really mentioned the person responsible for her massive appetite, times of quiet reflection and complete stubborn streak. Little miss s’ Dad is Dan. I met him nearly 13 years ago in Sunnyside Caravan Park in Newquay – it was my first holiday away without the folks and look where it landed me! Little miss s will never be going on a girls/friends holiday without us!

I do believe that the saying opposites attract may have been penned for a couple just like us, where I am talkative and as you all know a bit of an oversharer, Dan is quiet and shy and really does keep himself to himself – but hey apparently I talk enough for the both of us!

The reason for this post is a little test, you see I don’t think he actually reads this blog of mine (I know, I know sooo unsupportive!) and so I thought I would make him the subject and let you all into our lives a little, by that I mean I am going to try and make sense of some of the man things that he does and would be very interested if any of you experience the same things with your other half?!

Sooo there are a couple of things/habits that I must say after 13 years together and nearly 4 years of marriage that I haven’t managed to bash out of him… yet! (must try harder)

Washing Up – he is awful at this, I’m not sure what kind of trick he is trying to pull thinking that doing it badly will get him out of it, but 9 times out of 10 I have to re-wash everything! And if he’s cooked he just has to use EVERY pan, plate in the kitchen!

Rugby Kit – dirty rugby kit smells bad! Sooo why oh why put it into the upstairs linen basket in our bedroom, yes I know these are dirty clothes but now they are also damp and smelling of deep heat!

The Shower – he spends agggeeess in the shower and turns it on before he is even ready to get in, this really really grates!

Snoring – the man snores but when he is awake???? That’s just plain weird

Dave – he calls me Dave, I don’t know why or how it started but yep his romantic little pet name for me is Dave (or sh*t break, but out of the two I prefer Dave!)

And finally because I don’t want you all to think I don’t actually like my husband and give the poor man a complex, he does do some good….

His random acts of madness – they don’t happen too often to make them the norm but I will occasionally catch him being really odd, just think Morris dancing in the kitchen! He broke into a Russian dance at our wedding?!?

We fit – he’s big and I’m small, we look completely ridiculous but we fit, I can snuggle quite nicely under his arm.

Dan the Dad – I always knew he would be good, but just lately he has come into his own, he is definitely a toddler man and most nights transforms into a horse or a lion to chase and work little miss s up into a frenzy.

He’s my rock – if I need anything I know he will be there and I know he will think of my feelings before his own, add to that little miss s and bump and the poor man comes in forth place!

So just a little post to test whether he reads this and if he does… thank you x

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the silence is broken!

So I’ve been a little quite lately (well for rather a long time!) there is no excuse for my lack of blogs except that life has just got in the way of my little writing habit.

It is safe to say that I am happy to wave goodbye to 2013 and welcome in 2014 with open arms, this past year has been one of the hardest in a long time if ever – with the new found independence of getting a job came the constant mum guilt everytime poor little miss s had a cold and was packed off to the childminder. Then there was moving house, something which we a getting pretty good at now! When my heart broke and needed some extra tlc and when I nearly lost my mind (not all bad I promise just went a little nuts! Nothing to worry about!)

It has been a long year but I promise although a lot of it sucked there was much that didn’t!… Little miss s turned Two and became little miss s the princess come monster! Friendships have blossomed and my family remain happy and healthy.

2014 I have high expectations! Not least because Dan, myself and little miss s will be welcoming another little miss or mister to the Thompson clan. Come June my life will once again be filled with nappies, milk and night feeds- only this time we have a toddler to throw into the mix! Little miss obviously has no idea what is going on but has picked up on the fact that mummy is having a baby which she has proceeded to name Jesus, all very festive at the moment but it does seem to be sticking!

My New Years resolution is that I promise to try a little harder at keeping you all entertained with my ramblings –I have missed my weekly brain dump onto here… hence the slightly nuts episode (i will also try and explain this!) And I have some good new material – It turns out two year olds can not only be great company but can sometimes be 2 going on 16, to say little miss s has some attitude is an understatement.

… and so the fun continues! I hope you have all had wonderful Christmases and I wish you all the very best for 2014

DIY MAMA…

As you will all know I have tried to DIY it up a few times since being a mum, from the amazing tent that I spent two hours making and little miss s played in it for two minutes! The pallet shelf that I made and then moved house and didn’t put it up again and my personal favourite were the t-shirts I made for little miss s that I may have smudged slightly before they dried!

I have now hit new DIY crafty territory, the actual toddler craft fun where as a fun loving and teacher of a mother you should allow them or explore their inner creative self… I seriously struggle with this!! I cannot cope that my child is unable to glue just the one thing at a time or that hands and feet interfere with the final product! I have to hold my hands up and come clean about the fact that I am definitely one of those mothers who ‘help’ a lot more than they probably should. I am already planning ‘little miss s’ first entry to the craft tent in the local show next year… I will do better than the highly commended I got as a kid!

The other day we made these lovely leaf lanterns using PVA and an old jar, I am ashamed to say that I may have maybe redone it a little after little miss s went to bed – don’t get me wrong she did a lovely job but it just wasn’t stuck properly… ooo im so bad! I must let go…

Autumn crafting

Autumn Crafting

With the introduction of Pintrest into my day I am hoping that my adult crafting can take more of a front seat – I love the idea of making something from scratch and re-using old household items for new pieces. Maybe this way my poor creatively starved daughter can let her hair down! I will try and keep you all updated with the DIY MAMA progress.

A few items already dotted around my home…

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I can safely say I didn’t help (much) with this creation, and not even this will make her use the damn potty!!

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DIY artwork for my bedroom,  Love waking up and seeing these everyday x

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Gotta love a DIY geo-stag

 

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An original little miss s print

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Party DIY with thanks to K